Things We Learned From Gotham Season 2 Episode 2

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  1. Sometimes the right way is also the ugly way.
  2. Criminal lunatics are a kind of brilliance
  3. Choose happiness, unless you feel a calling.
  4. Human life is so fragile.
  5. A telephone is human nature.
  6. If you don’t do what the bad guy asks, you will wish a spider was attacking your face.
  7. Monsters will cleanse this city with blood and fire.
  8. Nobody cares who the mayor is banging.
  9. Humans are wise and foolish, brave and fearful.
  10. “Maniax!” is a good headline.
  11. Get to work.
  12. The deepest fears of humanity are donuts.
  13. The problem with The Joker is that he’s smarter than most everybody, so you can’t control him at all.
  14. The real problem with The Joker is that he’s an agent of chaos.
  15. Mayhem is funny when the Joker does it.
  16. On TV, you have to present yourself with style and vigor.
  17. Be sinister and authoritative, but smile.
  18. Laughing is the best.
  19. You can kill people with spike heels on.
  20. Guns are for grown-ups.
  21. A metaphor is not an argument.
  22. Ignorance is protection.
  23. The data in a computer is stored in the chips being attached to it.
  24. Destroying information in general will keep you safe.
  25. Alfred can be fired by a child.
  26. Vision, ambition and brains are the key advantage.
  27. Bathrobes are the coolest.
  28. Ladies first.
  29. Comedy is timing.
  30. Courage is grace under pressure.
  31. Joker is the boss.
  32. If you have a life, you shouldn’t fight crime.
  33. Jim Gordon is the only one who does anything.
  34. Jim Gordon is basically Jim Zhou if he were evil and fought crime using evil.
  35. Corruption is delicious.
  36. Men are lazy and corrupt.
  37. Alfred only has 1 outfit.
  38. Alfred either has only one outfit or some kind of a magic suitcase.
  39. Alfred is a dick.
  40. Fire Alfred.
  41. Cheerleaders do cheers on the bus as like, a normal thing.
  42. Killing cheerleaders is very 1970s or 1990s.
  43. A McDonald’s hamburger is the perfect wedding gift.
  44. America’s best warranty makes you dance with a football.
  45. Sideways haircuts are cool.
  46. Houseflies hum in the key of F.
  47. Houseflies are cool.
  48. Google is more accurate than The Riddler.
  49. Google is more likely to kill you than The Riddler.
  50. Ladies love confidence.
  51. Ladies don’t love psychopathic killers.
  52. Stee is The Riddler.
  53. The Riddler is a bumbling socially awkward wreck.
  54. When The Riddler takes his glasses off, he becomes evil.
  55. Riddler is the opposite of Superman.
  56. Riddler has weird ears.
  57. When Stee does biochem, she becomes The Riddler.
  58. Fashion straight jackets are cool, menacing, and a good cosplay.
  59. The crotch strap is the best part.
  60. Joker needs Os.
  61. Use a reliable lighter when setting buses on fire. NOT a Zippo.
  62. A revolver is a dumb weapon.
  63. Punch the fire to death.
  64. Shoot the informant with a sniper rifle.
  65. Some of these are actually solid advice.
  66. Train stations are boring, but they look cool.
  67. You’re either with Batman, or you’re against him.
  68. The ultimate courage is to go to school.
  69. Alfred demands total obedience.
  70. Alfred doesn’t know how to fix computers.
  71. Cheerleaders are the key to mass panic.
  72. Too smiley means you shouldn’t trust someone.
  73. Masculine posturing is very boring.
  74. Barbara is the scariest, so go to commercial.
  75. Jim Gordon can’t really help you.
  76. Jim Gordon thinks everything is Barbara’s fault.
  77. Red gloves are a decoy.
  78. Gas grenades are clutch in a building assault.
  79. Don’t keep Jim Gordon alive, you idiot.
  80. Kissing is unrealistic.
  81. Corpses are funny in and of themselves.
  82. Double tap, you fool.
  83. Joker doesn’t like being called crazy
  84. Police officers will risk their own lives to tell someone that they are nothing.
  85. Shoot the camera guy immediately.
  86. Headbutting someone is a clever argument.
  87. The Joker likes bleeding.
  88. Good guys are dumb.
  89. You can’t keep people alive by telling them to breathe.
  90. Death scenes are super awkward.
  91. Fixing computers takes time.
  92. There’s a lot of weird closeted man-love in Batman.
  93. Killing 8 cops does not cause a lockdown or increased security at a police station, or create any kind of a crime scene.
  94. Gordon induces malice toard himself from all corners.
  95. Good lighting over good writing.
  96. There’s no use fighting who you are.
  97. TV news likes showing manifestos.
  98. Sanity is a prison in your mind.
  99. Corpses should smile more.
  100. Gotham is essentially an autonomous city-state.
  101. Groaning is bad manners.
  102. A gun controls manners.
  103. If someone has bad manners, shoot them immediately.
  104. Everyone is a prisoner of not being the Joker.
  105. Sanity keeps you from seeing that you’re tiny little cogs in a giant absurd machine.
  106. Freedom = smiling + killing.
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